Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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