have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize