Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
