there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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