I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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