Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
