I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
there is puke in my bra ... again
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