We got so high we made milksteak
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize