It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
