I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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