Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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