I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize