im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
