he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize