he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
