hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
