pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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