Farmville is her only friend.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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