I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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