Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
