What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
