i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize