All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
