i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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