everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize