I think my fart just growled at me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
