i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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