why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
