eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
