Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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