Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
