if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
