You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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