I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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