Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
