Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
