I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
