I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize