Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
