Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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