The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
