this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize