I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
