im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
