Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
