Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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