You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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