Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
