Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
zippers are such a cool invention
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
