I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
