Whoa Z and x make the same sound
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
