Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize