I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
