this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize