Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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