I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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