Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
