It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
