Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize