I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
