apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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